The Breaking Point

Sleep became one of the biggest challenges of my life after my daughter, Flo, was born. By the time she was eight months old, I was completely burnt out.

She woke after every single sleep cycle, and the only way to get her back down was to feed her. Night after night. I was surviving on scraps of rest, and the toll was heavy.

The exhaustion crept into every corner of my life. I wasn’t just tired, I was drained, irritable, and anxious. I missed the version of myself that had energy for the things I loved. Some days, I didn’t feel safe driving. I left the front door open more than once with the keys still in the lock. I couldn’t remember if I’d fed our dog, Inky. Even the thought of getting through a day alone with a baby who wouldn’t nap felt overwhelming.

I wanted to ask for help, but Flo screamed if anyone else tried to settle her. Tom, my partner, left for work at 5.30am, and I felt guilty waking him. We were both exhausted.

And then there was work, I was due to return to 12-hour night shifts as a midwife. The idea of caring for other mothers and newborns when I was barely functioning terrified me.

Looking back, I can see I was also experiencing postpartum anxiety. But at the time, I was just surviving, one wake-up at a time.

Our First Attempts at Sleep Help

I tried everything, wake windows, routines, food tweaks, the perfect sleep environment. I read every post, every comment, every piece of advice. Nothing helped.

Eventually, the pressure broke me. With my return to work looming, I felt I had no choice but to try sleep training. We worked with a coach I trusted. I told myself this was the only way.

But the reality was devastating. Sitting in the living room, rocking back and forth, covering my ears while Flo cried it out, every instinct screamed to go to her. Yet I forced myself not to.

After four nights, she slept through the night. Physically, I felt better. But something inside me didn’t. Flo smiled less. She asked for me less. She resisted cuddles. Our closeness had shifted. I couldn’t un-feel it.

That was the moment I knew: I couldn’t do it this way again.

Finding Aware Parenting

When Flo entered toddlerhood, and I became pregnant with our second child, I knew I needed a new approach. That’s when I discovered Aware Parenting.

It was a game changer. The missing piece of the puzzle.

I began to see that not every cry was a problem to fix. Not every wake-up meant she needed feeding. Often, the constant feeding was actually a control pattern, suppressing her need to release feelings through tears. What she truly needed was loving presence.

She wasn’t “broken.” She wasn’t manipulating me. She was expressing, connecting, or releasing tension. Sometimes, all three.

The Power of Listening, Not Fixing

Like so many parents, I had thought every cry meant something was wrong. That it was my job to make it stop. Aware Parenting showed me the difference between needs feelings (when a child requires food, comfort, rest) and healing feelings (when they are offloading stored emotions with our support).

When I stopped rushing to fix every cry and instead held space with love, everything shifted. I sat with her. Stayed close. She cried, tantrumed and raged many times. And instead of seeing those tears as failure, I began to see them as release.

Tom became more involved too. Bedtime no longer rested only on me. Flo began to welcome him again. Her sleep deepened. She slept through again. Most importantly, our connection returned, stronger than ever.

Tantrums and meltdowns transformed too. They were no longer battles, but moments of healing. When I stayed present, she emerged lighter. Happier. More cooperative. She played more freely. Got dressed without tears. Became less clingy, more cooperative, more compassionate.

I wasn’t perfect. The days weren’t always easy. But I no longer felt stuck between two painful extremes:

• Attachment parenting that left me burnt out
• Sleep training that left me heartbroken

I had found a middle ground. Respectful. Sustainable. Real.

The Confidence to Keep Going

This shift gave me the confidence to move into motherhood with two children. Sleep no longer felt like something to dread and worry over, it became something I could meet with understanding and resilience.

Most importantly, I reconnected with myself.

So if you’re reading this in the thick of sleepless nights, questioning everything, please know this:

✨ There is a way through.
✨ One where sleep and connection coexist.
✨ One where you don’t have to silence your instincts or your baby’s voice.

You’re not failing. You’re just missing the support that aligns with how deeply you love.

I’m so glad you’re here. 💛

👉 If you’d like to explore working with me, you can find more about how we can connect here.