There are moments in parenting that stop us in our tracks. A tantrum at bedtime, a difficult goodbye at nursery, or a defiant “No!” that feels bigger than the situation at hand. Suddenly, a wave of anger, shame, or overwhelm rises inside us, far greater than the trigger itself.

Where did that come from?

Parenting doesn’t just test our patience, it can stir old, unhealed parts of us. In this post, we’ll explore why our children sometimes trigger deep emotions, how this connects to our own childhood stories, and what it means to reparent ourselves as we parent our children.

When Parenting Touches More Than the Present

Sometimes, it’s not only about our child’s behaviour. It’s also about our own history.

• A child’s tears might remind us of times we weren’t comforted.
• Their anger may echo emotions we were never allowed to show.
• Their needs might awaken parts of us that had to stay silent to feel safe.

This isn’t because we’re “bad parents.” It’s because parenting is one of the most intimate, confronting roles we’ll ever hold, it reflects not only our love for our children but also the experiences that shaped us.

The Echo of the Inner Child

When a child resists, collapses, or lashes out, it can activate something much deeper in us. The question becomes:

• Are we responding to our child in the moment?
• Or are we also hearing the voice of our own inner child who wasn’t fully seen, soothed, or supported?

Recognising this difference is not about blame. It’s about compassion, acknowledging that we all carry stories that shaped how safe it felt to cry, to need, to take up space.

Reparenting: The Work Inside Ourselves

Healing begins with awareness. Through my work in Aware Parenting, Circle of Security, and Robin Grille’s Inner Child Journey, I’ve seen how powerful it is to pause, reflect, and nurture ourselves alongside our children.

• Aware Parenting helps us look beneath the behaviour and respond with connection instead of control.
• Circle of Security teaches us to hold our children with both strength and softness while exploring our own attachment history.
• Inner Child Work reminds us that healing isn’t just for our children, it’s for the younger versions of ourselves too.

When your child shouts “Go away!” or clings tightly at drop-off, it may awaken something you once had to suppress. By noticing this, we create space to respond differently, rooted, not reactive.

Gentle Questions for Reflection

Reparenting begins with curiosity, not criticism. You might ask yourself:

• What did I learn as a child about expressing emotions?
• Was I comforted or dismissed when upset?
• How does my body respond when my child expresses needs I wasn’t allowed to have?
• What would it look like to offer myself the same compassion I’m learning to give my child?

The Heart of Parenting with Presence

This work isn’t about fixing the past. It’s about softening the present. It’s about choosing to meet our children not from old wounds, but from grounded presence. And just as importantly, learning to meet ourselves with the same tenderness.

Conclusion

Parenting isn’t only about guiding our children, it’s also about tending to the child within us. When we explore our triggers with compassion, we step into a more connected, conscious way of parenting: one that feels less like reaction and more like relationship.

Called to work with me?

If this resonates with you, know you don’t have to walk this journey alone. In my coaching, I support families not only with gentle sleep and parenting strategies but also with the deeper layers, your story, your nervous system, your inner child.

🌼 Learn more about how I can support you here.

You are not too much. You are not too late. And you are not alone.